It’s ok not to be ok.
It’s a realisation clients often have as they start their Tapping journey.
Tears of sadness finally fall after years of being kept within. A chest tightens with anger as a memory is recalled, realising they have never told anyone about this, never expressed that anger. Shoulders tense, like a big elastic band spanning their breadth just waiting to snap, when a years old limiting belief of ‘I’m not worthy’ emerges.
And as we tap and the tears, the anger and the tension release, the body softens and opens. ‘I feel lighter’, ‘my chest feels more open’ and ‘wow, I feel calm’ are frequent comments I hear from clients.
Getting comfortable with discomfort so you can allow emotions to rise and release, is key to finding the freedom in Emotional Freedom Techniques. However, most of us have grown up learning otherwise. ‘Stop crying’ is an instruction many have absorbed over the years. Perhaps it doesn’t feel convenient, you’d rather keep it together in the workplace than show how upset or angry you are.
And so we learn to keep it all in, for any number of reasons.
By the time we reach adulthood our emotions are often so tightly contained, we’ve forgotten how to truly feel, to honour those parts that are hurting and need a little love. And we’ve often been keeping it in for years, failing to express who we truly are.
What if it’s time to get comfortable with the discomfort? To allow emotions rather than suppressing them.
Here are 3 reasons why it’s ok to not always be ok.
1. Your emotions are your body’s GPS
Emotions are labels for your body’s physiological responses. At times, allowing sadness, anger or worry to flow might feel uncomfortable, but emotions are not positive or negative.
Tune in to something you love. Perhaps a beach sunset, the fluid movement of a dancer, the sound of children laughing. Notice what happens in your body. Does it soften, expand, relax?
Most likely it’s a yes, even if just a little. And this is your body’s ‘YES’ guiding you towards what is good for you.
Now, try it with something you don’t like. A food that makes your stomach curl, a polluted landscape or perhaps a stubbed toe. Did your body pull in and get tense, your face screw up?
This is your body’s ’NO’ letting you know this is not good for you.
Your body knows before your mind does. How quickly do you pull away from a hot stove? Before your mind has time to think, ’oh that’s hot, it could burn, I’d better move my hand’, your hand is out of there.
Your body knows. Start listening to its cues.
2. You want to look after your health
When you shut down emotion, you’re also affecting your immune system, your nervous system. So the repression of emotion, which is a survival strategy, then becomes a source of physiological illness later on. Gabor Maté
The work of Gabor Maté and Bessel Van der Kolk, just two of many exploring this subject, indicate that most illness is caused by stress rather than genetics. And to be clear, it’s not about experiencing anger or sadness that’s the problem, it’s the suppression of the emotion. The suppression results in trapped survival stress, which leads to dis-ease.
The myth of normal and When the body says no, both by Gabor Maté, are great reads on this subject. My copies have many dog-eared pages!
The body keeps the score by Bessel van der Kolk is a heavier read but another good one.
The titles of these books say it all.
3. You want to feel good
Yes please!
Keeping everything in all the time takes effort and is exhausting. When I started tapping, the release and relief was huge, and I couldn’t wait for more. I became an emotional detective finding old stuff to tap on. With each layer unfolding, I felt better and better.
And now, without carrying years of emotions in my body, when I feel angry, sad or worried (you’re human so you’ll still feel it all), it’s with much less intensity. Today’s worry is about today. Today’s worry is not tangled on top of 20 years’ worth of mess hiding in my body. It’s like little soft clouds floating by rather than heavy grey skies that bring days of rain.
And for clients, the look of wonder as they release their emotional load and realise they can feel lighter, clearer and calmer is so beautiful.
Yes, it is possible! For you too.
Is it your time to truly feel, so you can heal? Book a free call to find out more about Tapping and how it could benefit you.
xo Justine ?